Welcome to Pen, Ultimate! What is that?
There are many right ways to start a newsletter. Starting a newsletter that’s actually five newsletters in disguise, that you call a “digital internet cyber-zine,” is surely not one of them. But as I’ve slowly developed this project over the last year, going back and forth over the genre distinctions, the format and design, whether to write any of it at all or just ditch writing entirely — typical creative crises — I’ve more-or-less finally, somewhat, kinda, decided that this is the way for me.
Pen, Ultimate! is the culmination of two truths that I’ve been trying desperately to ignore since I decided to start a newsletter/digital internet cyber-zine (even throughout the tumultuous lives of previous incarnation Off We Go, Like A Herd of Turtles and sister-letter spooky kitchens). These fundamental truths are:
I have to write. Not writing is an existential torture.
I have to write about everything. One subject is just not enough.
That’s Pen, Ultimate!’s deal. It’s the best way I can think of to say the things I want to say (that I think are worth anyone else hearing). It’s an experiment that’s as freeing for me to write as it is fun for you to read (ideally). It’s a lot.
What are all these section things?
There are four sub-letters (“sections”) included in the Pen, Ultimate! digital internet cyber-zine, each with their own genre and publishing schedule. You’ll be subscribed to all these sections through the parent Pen, Ultimate! subscription, whether free or paid — but you can always opt out of emails from any section you’re not particularly interested in.
Munch Collins. The food blog I never wrote. LA-focused, centered on specific, experiential recommendations of the places I love most in my hometown. Noncomprehensive lists of favorites united by odd themes. Commentary on and insights into restaurant culture and business. Published weekly on Fridays.
CONSUME. The entertainment blog nobody asked for. I consume(!) a lot of…everything. Too much. Games, TV, podcasts, theater, movies — entertainment is arguably my biggest vice. One I’ve decided to attempt to capitalize on. Media recommendation lists, reviews, experiences, and consumption culture commentary inside. I write this so I don’t start a Letterbox’d account. Published weekly on Saturdays.
Off We Go (like a herd of turtles). Travel. Stories about what interests me most about the act of traveling: what I learned from what I experienced, and how it’s changed me. Plus, occasional food & activity recommendation lists based on my favorite hobby: researching restaurants (and activities) for other people’s vacations. Published monthly on the first Sunday.
Keoki Doky. Personal and cultural observations. Gads of introspection. Essays. Published monthly on the first Monday.
Finally, there’s Pen, Ultimate!. The sneaky cheeky bonus section. Not content with merely being the mothership for the others, Pen, Ultimate! will occasionally (very occasionally) feature its own content.
How You, Dear Reader, Can Engage
First and foremost, you can subscribe. A paid subscription to Pen, Ultimate! nets you:
All writings one week early.
Complete access to everything I’ve published on this site (there will be occasional paid-exclusive posts).
A free subscription still nets you mostly complete access…just, later than paid subscribers. While it’s my goal to have everything I write available to read for free, some pieces will remain exclusive to paid subscribers for longer periods of time than others.
Note! Through December 31st, 2023, all paid subscribers receive the Perpetual Inaugural Thank You Subscription: 75% off their subscription to Pen, Ultimate! in perpetuity (as long as you continue to renew). That’s $12.50 annually or $1.25 monthly for as long as you like what you read.
Starting in 2024 subscription prices reset to the Substack standard $50/annual, $5/monthly minimum. Get it while it’s hot.
Secondly and barely secondmost, you can share. Don’t be fooled by this position on the engagement list; sharing is the most important thing that you, as a reader and member of the PU Crew, can do. I write because I want people to read; and then I want to talk to those people about what I wrote, or the thing that I wrote about. Speaking of talking…
Thirdly and etc., you can comment. Comment what you think, what you feel, your own recommendations and your own experiences! Hate will be immediately removed and personal attacks will make me sad. None of that, thank you. But disagreements are welcome, as most if not all of my writing is completely subjective.
Next Stops for Pen, Ultimate!
I have some modest-feeling but probably overoptimistic numerical goals for subscribers, shares, engagement, etc. But as all of my former marketing coworkers can earnestly attest, I’m not a metrics guy. Can’t stand the things. I majored in Economics and Math, and I still despise success numbers, which are too often confused with goals.
My goals therefore are:
My first goal for Pen, Ultimate! is contributors. Not monetary; creative. I’d love for this to one day be a platform for voices and expressions that aren’t only mine. But before that I want to ensure that each newsletter has a distinct voice, style, and purpose beyond its given genre, so that contributors have at least some semblance of framework to work around and guide their contributions. This includes artists as well as writers. Speaking of artists…
My second and final goal for Pen, Ultimate! is professional art. As you can tell, I designed all the logos and artwork across Pen, Ultimate! myself. I’m proud of them, but…you know. It’s not my thing. Clearly. I’m happy to say I have a number of extremely talented artist and designer friends I’d love to pay to spruce up the place (and potentially contribute artwork for individual articles). I can’t wait to see what they make of it one day.
Yikes.
That’s it. That’s the gist of Pen, Ultimate!. I can’t really believe you’re here. But if you made it this far, do me a favor and say hello in the comments on this page. I and whoever else wants to will say “hey” back. And then we’ve met! And that’s pretty cool.
